Every kid gives her mother reason to worry. If that reason happens to correct itself, usually another reason to worry pops up. At least that is the way it is with me and my kids.
Last week I had good reason to worry about Poonch. I was brushing her hair when I noticed that she had mysteriously grown a sideburn. Now, Poonch has had long hair with her bangs grown out for years. To her, her hair is her crowning glory, while to me, her locks provide most of my morning frustration. Her not-yet-curly-sort-of-wavy-sometimes-straight-full-frizzy-chlorine-filled hair is a pain in the ass to do. It has been the cause of many frustrating mornings, and trust me, I am putting this lightly. (screaming, crying, brush-throwing, running-from-mommy, threats-from-me-to-chop-it-off, no-I-don't-want-a-ponytail, boys-are-so-much-easier)
The appearance of the spontaneous sideburn meant only one thing. This girl had cut her OWN hair. Son of a ...
Seeing as Poonch was already crabby about me brushing the knots out of her hair, I wasn't sure how to broach the subject. So, I just came out and said...
Poonch, did you cut your hair? (At least, I hope that is how I asked it, because inside it went more like WTF did you do to your hair, girl??)
No answer. Which in our house implies culpability. Every time.
OK, Poonch, I know you cut your hair, but what I want to know is why?
(WTF were you THINKING???)
No answer.
To make a long one-sided conversation short, she finally admitted that she was angry and had chopped off her hair. She refused to tell me what she was so angry about. Something I had done, surely.
This confession resulted in all sorts of internal conversations in my head.
OMG, Poonch is completely out of control
she needs an anger management class
should I send her to a shrink?
WHAT in God's name will she be like as a teenager?
These conversations were still gaining momentum in my head days later as I was cleaning out the playroom closet, which on a good day, looks like this:
You can only imagine what it looks like on a bad day. No comments, please. Anyhow, as my head was in the bowels of this eyesore, I came upon this:
At first I thought this specimen was the missing link, but quickly realized it was Poonch's missing hair, stuck to a hardened piece of Juicy Fruit. Perhaps another mom would be disturbed to find this in a playroom closet. Not me. Nope. I did a few jumping jacks of joy because lucky me, my girl doesn't have anger management issues, she just can't keep her darn gum in her mouth!
All that worrying for nothing.
/
